Allergic to Nature

I know. It sounds silly. Can you imagine conversations?
"Oh, so you're allergic to shellfish? And mildew? Well, I'm allergic to nature."

Exactly. But I've realized that I will think twice about denouncing big, old corporate America as the Target in tiny Eureka, saved my life. About two days into traveling in the "wilderness" I developed a runny nose, itchy eyes, scratchy throat, and the ability to sneeze forever. First I figured it was dust or pet dander. The B&B was home to 2 dogs and supposedly 3 cats but for the record I only saw 2. The room we stayed in, as I realized the second night was supposed to mimic the North Pole. It helped that there was a postcard on the wall among others that said, "Greetings from the North Pole." The pictures on the wall didn't do much except mimic a forest environment, replete with the stuffed bear on the pillows and the lampshade which depicted a forest of evergreens. It was charming and yet at the same time, a little disconcerting. I suppose this is what happens when you move from the world of commercial motels/hotels to the homey B&Bs.

At about half past 9 on my second night, I felt one of my lungs collapsing (the drama, I know) and went immediately to Target which was located a fast 30 minute drive away, and supposed to close at 10 pm. Honestly, I think I was ready to break down the door if they closed on me, but we made it with 10 minutes to spare. It is moments like these where I welcome corporate America with welcome arms and appreciate the amenities found in the city that I've taken for granted. Like 24 hour drugstores. Drugstores on every corner. A pharmacy on every other corner. You get my drift. Several allergy medications later, I drifted into sleep and realized the next morning that I was clearly allergic to nature. Excellent work. Unfortunately, I was also nowhere near non country for hundreds of miles and so we left Arcata and headed south.

If I had my way, I'd tell the world that I was allergic to nature, dirt, grass, redwoods, all forms of conifers and all forms of greenery that hadn't been pre-planned by an urban architect. As it turns out I'm not entirely offbase with that comment. I found out a week later that one of my friends is allergic to all conifers and grasses. Being allergic to nature? Completely normal.